Here are some clues for Oregon drivers, for those who seem to lack them.

• By the time you get to the end of a freeway on-ramp, you should be going freeway speed. Actually, this seems to be less of a problem in Oregon than it is in other states (example: Colorado).
• I'll allow an exception to that rule for trucks and RVs, many of whom simply cannot accelerate that fast.
• In Oregon, the second right turn lane has exactly the same rights as the first right turn lane. That means that you CAN turn right against a red light from the second right turn lane.
• Unlike California, however, you CANNOT just turn into whatever lane you feel like taking. The curb lane must turn into the curb lane. The second lane must turn into the second lane.
• Folks, cars are NOT that hard to turn. Many people execute a turn by starting to turn the wheel as soon as they move off of the line at the intersection. The only effect this has is that you cross into the oncoming traffic lanes. No one should ever impinge on an oncoming lane like that. You should not start turning the wheel until you are almost halfway into the intersection.
• There's one weird little exception that is unique to Oregon, as far as I know. You can always turn against a red light when turning into the curb lane on a one-way street. This includes turning left from a two-way onto a one-way. Although counterintuitive, this is LEGAL in Oregon. In fact, there is a diagram of this move in the Driver's Manual.

I'm amused by the jargon-filled sentences one often finds in technical journals. I especially like to drop them in casual conversation, completely out of context.

There was an article on star formation in Scientific American some time in 2002. They reprinted it this month in their "resubscriber's bonus issue". It includes a great quotable line:

The logarithm of the metallicity falls off linearly with distance, with a slope of -0.07 dex per kiloparsec.

I don't know how I'm going to work that in at my next cocktail party, but I hope to slip it in right after "furlongs per fortnight".

So, what is the deal with the sudden spate of spam offering me pseudo-Rolex watches? In a matter of a week or so, I went from getting 0 per day to hundreds per day. Is this the Internet equivalent of the shady street corner character, opening his trench coat to show me an array of cheap knock-offs? I can understand the Viagra/Cialis spams. The profit margin on those pills has to be high enough to make even a small spam hit rate into a major profit center. But fake watches? I don't get it.

We Americans are so easily duped. The price for regular unleaded at my local gas station has dropped from $2.029 to $1.929 over the last two weeks, and I found myself thinking, "what a bargain!" On the other hand, I did three business trips to Europe this year. When I visited Edinburgh, a city I dearly loved, I noticed that gas was priced at 89p per litre. After a little number crunching, I realized that was just over $6 per gallon. I didn't get much sympathy from my hosts when I whined about paying $2 per gallon.

Thanks to senseless and ongoing blog spamming by the fricking bastards at www.diamond-online-casinos.com, I have modified the blog software to reject any comment that contains the word "casino". I apologize in advance if this blocks a legitimate comment. If that happens, I'll adjust the heuristics a bit.

They are the slime of the earth. I hope the spammers will one day wake up and realize the despicable nature of their chosen profession, and move into one with a bit more honor. Like career pedophile.

I am astonished by the level of polarity in the presidential campaign this year. The people who are FOR President Dubya think that anyone who is not is an anti-American radical communist-lover who ought to leave the country if they don't like him. The people are AGAINST President Dubya rail against the incredible and dangerous stupditiy of his policies. There seems to be no middle position.

Having said that, I guess I should join the fray. I'm in the second camp. I will not be voting for John Kerry as much as I will be voting against "The W".

In just a few short years, George W. Bush and his administration have done (and continue to do) damage to our environment, to our deficit, to intellectualism, to our civil rights, and to our standing in world opinion that will take decades to correct. The man should be tried, not re-elected. He will be remembered in one breath with Hoover, Buchannan, Fillmore, and the other one-term presidents who left the country in worse shape than they found it.

Well, I was visited by the scum of the earth again. Within a two minute period, my blog got spammed 18 different times. Some of the slime were advertising on-line casinos, and some of them were just pushing web sites.

They must think people are idiots. The comment will say something like, "Excellent, that was really well explained and helpful", with a link to an online casino. Well, all evidence aside, I am not an idiot.

I sincerely and genuine hope they FOAD. Have a nice day.

Are the people in the stock trading industry just complete lunatics, or what?

The stock market was down yesterday. The reason given just floors me: indications of good news on the economic front.

Huh?

Apparently, the stock brokers see good news, which means times are improving, which means the Federal Reserve might accidentally one day raise interest rates, which means money gets more expensive, which means corporate earnings go down, which means bad news. Sell, sell, sell.

That is the most incredible pile of bull$hit I've ever heard. Good economic news does NOT make a company less valuable.

Look, here's a secret forward-looking prediction from my always reliable crystal ball: interest rates are going to go up, then down, then up, then down, then up again. Does that mean I should sell, buy, sell, buy, and sell?

What a load of crap.

I am becoming more and more convinced that the stock market is not a positive contributor to the world economy. It is, as near as I can tell, completely indistinguishable from a slot machine in a Las Vegas casino. When I buy stock in Intel, Intel doesn't see any of the money. It's all 3rd- and 4th-hand transfers. It isn't benefitting the corporations, and it isn't benefitting the typical gambler (whoops, I meant "investor"). Who does it benefit? The mutual fund managers scraping their take every month, and the stock brokers taking a chunk out of every trade.

It's a racket, worse than insurance.

Here are some MORE clues for Oregon drivers, after some experiences this weekend.

• There are a number of mountain highways in western Oregon, crossing the Coast Range. These highways are usually one lane each direction, with the occasional passing lane. Many drivers are apparently confused about the purpose of the passing lanes. Few things irk me more than the driver who travels 50 MPH when the road is winding areas, accumulating an impressive tail of cars and trucks behind them, then revs up to 65 MPH for the passing lane, but backs off to 50 again once the passing lane ends. Dude! Get a clue! If you want to travel 50, that's just fine, but stay at 50 once you hit the passing lane. That way, those of who want to travel faster won't be climbing up your rear end when the lane ends.
• As cranky as I sound, however, I'm not going to comment on drivers with cell phones. I've been known to use one, and I'll continue to do so. Common sense is the rule.
• It is interesting to notice, however, how many of the truly dangerous drivers are smokers. This was pointed out to me in a ticket-avoidance class in California long ago. People who smoke clearly do not care about societal restrictions and warnings, and that naturally manifests itself in their driving. Speed limits are for mortals, right?

Today marks the 10 year anniversary of the company where I am a partner, Providenza & Boekelheide, Inc. To celebrate, I brought in a bottle of 12-year-old Glenlivit scotch. The morning has taught me a lesson: I can no longer hold my booze the way I used to. Two small cups, and I've got a serious buzz.

It's hell to grow old. However, it does beat the alternative.

Boy, am I glad to see the snow go away.

I'm sure the Minnesota residents are laughing there arses off at us, but in Oregon we just aren't accustomed to 8 inches of snow capped off with 3 inches of ice. It basically shut down the region for several days, including the first-ever weather shutdown of the PDX airport, and the first-ever weather cancellation of a Trailblazer game.

I live on a hill about 800' above the valley floor, and since Portland does not plow residential streets, it was quite a challenge getting out.

The kids enjoyed an extra week off of school, but I'm just as glad to be back at my keyboard.